the weirdest thing has been happening to me lately.
let me start with a bit of context...
i have always been a rather excessive fan of smooches. indeed, this passion has made me responsible for international kissing games, late-night rooftop spin the bottle sessions, and oh so many countless kisses. one of the fellas i dated last year was first kissed by me mid-sentence, shortly after we met. "sorry," i bashfully exclaimed, "couldn't help myself..."
hell, there was a time when i used to make it a point to share at least one deep-down, full-on smooch with all my closest. for example, when ken first decided he would be my flatmate, we were in a bar and i reached across the table to pull him into a sweltering smooch. it was just... something i did. maybe i figured 'hell, we're gonna be roommates, now this is out of the way.' or something like that. even my queer (guy) friends didn't escape my lascivious lips.
well lately, the sight of people smooching or even the thought of it kinda... well... repulses me. and it's not just my cynicism! i've certainly found myself floundering in the anti-love-vibe before, but i have never, ever been even remotely anti-smooch. but watching movies or on the subway, or wherever i see lips joined in a passionate embrace, i kinda hear my brain going "ew."
i've had a somewhat similar transition from adoration to disgust before, with cigarette smoking. just randomly one morning (or in some cases, gradually over a week or two), the thought of smoking will just turn my stomach, and so i'll give it up until months or years later, when it appeals to me again. well, could this be happening with the smooch? could a fate of being a non-smoocher await me??
the horror! the horror!
on a hopeful note, as i was twirled around my apartment last night by an imaginary partner to acker bilk's 'stranger on the shore,' i was swept away by thoughts of gentle kisses on my temple, as fingertips brushed my hair away. so perhaps all is not lost...
3 comments:
Oh my fair ladt kaen, never loose your childish desire...Looove is grand. And you're far too fabulous to be repulsed by it.
jeremy
man, you're telling me! trust me, it's not a choice thing and like i said, i too find it mightily disconcerting. but more on the hopeful note: there was a fella in the bar last night that kinda spun my head, "aroo!?" [that's supposed to be a scooby doo sound...] mmmm, persian jazzer with shaggy hair and sardonic eyes.
so hey, the blood races yet through these amative arteries of mine...
i'm sure she won't mind - i loved her comment to me on this post so much that i'm gonna put it in the comments. yay miranda!
What have you done with my kissable Kaen! you imposter! Leave this blog now and don't come back until you're armed to the lips with smooches... And it's about freakin' time there's a new post. Jeepers.
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